That’s it. For this blog I am not going to take the high road. I am not going to say to myself “put yourself in their shoes”. I am not going to look to understand the other perspective. I am not going to be a good soldier. This is going to be a vitriolic, hate-spewing, anger-filled, lament of many of the idiotic things I have to put up with as the head groundskeeper at a university. I am looking to vent, and vent big. So, to my fellow groundskeepers, sit back and see if you don’t say “been there, done that” while you are reading. In actuality, this blog isn’t really going to scorch your ears, but I think you will understand.
Who Is Most Qualified On Campus to Make Grounds Decisions?
I know you golf course guys may not love trees, but here at Drury the campus forest is THE THING. It is what our community knows us for. As a diehard treehugger (smile when you say that) I am fine with that. What drives me crazy, though, is when people freak out that a tree needs to be removed. I’m not even sure sometimes how people find out about tree removal plans. Invariably someone will say “I love that tree and it doesn’t need to be removed”. Like I’m some chainsaw-happy psycho that wants to clear cut campus. If I can safely save a tree I will. And as an ISA Certified Arborist I am obligated to do what is culturally best for the tree. But what do I know?
Maybe this tree DIDN’T need to come down.
Contradictory Mandates
All landscaping entails some level of financial investment. The more culture, the higher the price. So less culture should mean less price… but not always. Try eliminating all overseeding of turf and see what happens. You will save money in the short term, but turf quality will drop, and the recovery expense will be significant. The flip side of less resource investment is lower quality, but that isn’t tolerable either. So what am I to do? My suggestion is to adapt the landscape quality expectations to financial expenditure expectations. But they rarely match up. Even though you may be a marketing expert, MBA, or perhaps golf pro, your guidance of “just do it” isn’t particularly helpful… but what do I know?
Even though you may be a marketing expert, MBA, or perhaps golf pro, your guidance of “just do it” isn’t particularly helpful… but what do I know?
Homeowner Supplies for a Commercial Campus
When I first got to Drury, the equipment (and tools) left a lot to be desired. Almost everything we had was bent, repaired, missing parts, or just missing. My boss has been very supportive and now when I look around I see some quality names. Stihl power equipment, Bully shovels/rakes (100% Made in The USA, how often do you see that?), Ryan, Felco/Corona, etc. Having equipment that can put up with hard use is essential. Good equipment and systems cost a bit more money.Right now I am trying to supply irrigation to a soccer field with 1″ poly and I can only run the system for 8 hours overnight. It is a question of supply and demand that just doesn’t add up. Buy a 24″ Mac or a custom office chair? Sure! But a booster pump and a commercial grade system (can you say Falcon Rotors?)? Thats too much. But what do I know?
It’s Just Grass
Many people on campus feel qualified to tell me how to do my job. I get advice from (I hope) well-meaning community members about fertilizer regimes, watering, mowing practices, etc. When the grass is growing rapidly in spring, there are emails about how tall the grass is getting. I try to explain the 1/3 rule, root-to-shoot ratio, the concern with mowing too wet soil, etc. all to no avail. Everyone is an expert. Hey, their grass looks great! I’ll tell them that there are DOCTORS who ONLY study turfgrass, and that Ill listen to them (I do). I also suggest when they have mowed a 60 Scag Hydro walk behind, w/ 5 gallon gas tank, DRY in one apartment complex, well talk. Or, when they have green grass five weeks into a drought without irrigation, they can give me advice. But what do I know?
I guess we do need your advice, because we obviously can’t grow turf.
My Crew Doesn’t Get Off Free
My crew loves to point the finger at me when we don’t achieve our objectives. You didn’t tell me what to do, you didn’t tell me when to finish, etc. Weve heard it all before. Yes, they have been mowing for five years, but they didn’t know to check the mow height every time. At this point I ask them a question. When you want to screw off, do you ask my permission? “Hey Joe, after lunch I’m going to screw off for a couple of hours, okay?” No, you just do it. So why do you need me to tell you how to work? When their time sheets are wrong they are nuclear physicists, solving complex problems. But when they need to solve a problem in the field they are morons. (Remember, I’m venting).
I’m sure it’s my fault they are not working…
A Trained Monkey Cannot Manage Grounds
While based in fact, this post is a little tongue-in-cheek. I love my job. My organization values Grounds and supports us. But our task is not easy. We are, at the end of the day, well trained, high functioning experts. I think I’ll walk into a surgery suite, push the doc aside and say “Hey, I think I can do this, I used to watch E.R.” How would that go over? Let us pros worry about the grounds. We’ll take good care of you.
